Leadership Begins With You
One of the first leadership lessons I learned was: leading others is easy. Leading yourself is hard. Leading yourself well is the gateway to effectively leading others.
Why? Leadership begins with the leader.
In seasons past, when profit was the ultimate measure of success, “leaders” got away with creating shareholder wealth but being a dumpster fire in their personal lives as long as they got results.. It's almost a cliche now. You know, the overweight CEO taking heart medication who is on his third wife and kids who hate him. He runs an 8 figure business though.
I describe that style of “leadership” in Jesus’s words: “What good is it to gain the whole world but lose your soul?”
Thankfully, western culture has slowly woken up to that broken paradigm of what both success and leadership looks like.
Since we briefly described what leadership is NOT: getting results at any expensive means, let's ponder. I love doing this exercise with young leaders or managers:
Imagine a leader you look up to or respect. Write down the characteristics they embody that make them worthy of respect and admiration.
After doing this exercise with leaders and people across the globe. I’m blown away by how similar the answers are! Words like this inevitably pop up in some form: Trustworthy, Competent, Caring, and without fail …role model; a good example. It never fails!
The words or characteristics change but they are getting at these few key principles of leadership. You have to be competent. You have to care. You have to be trustworthy. And lastly, the way you live is worthy of emulating.
By the way, if you do the first three, you are well on your way to being an example to others.
Notice: All of these are about characteristics of the leader! Not what they accomplish!
Consider the opposite: have you ever had a boss that gets great results, but it's hell to work with them? Do you consider them a good leader?
NO! Now, results matter in both circumstances. Competence or the ability to effectively execute was at the top of the list, but a certain character is the hallmark of a leader.
So how can you lead yourself better THIS week to become a leader worth following?
Let's jump into some foundational principles:
Look after the goose that lays the golden eggs.
When we dive into the character of leaders, the word discipline always comes up. High level leaders are disciplined people.
They aren't staying up late watching Netflix, eating a tub of ice cream every night and sleeping in until 10am. I haven't met a high level leader that doesn't take care of his physical health and fitness.
Eating healthy, staying hydrated, getting good rest and exercising keeps you mentally sharper, gives you more sustained energy, helps you operate at higher levels without stimulants, and keeps you resilient against stress. The difference over time is undeniable.
I'm not saying you have to go raw vegan,run a marathon and have a six pack year around but you must take care of the goose so it can keep laying the golden eggs. If you don't know what I'm talking about, google the Fable of The Goose and The Golden Eggs.
Action: What is ONE small habit you can instill to invest in your health THIS WEEK?
Stop Sucking
There is a line in the book Canoeing the Mountains I love. “It's ok to fail. It's not ok to suck.”
Too many leaders don't want to admit where they suck. Or if they do, they aren't really doing anything to change it.
Now, I’m all for delegate and hiring in your area of weaknesses, but a leader sets the tone for their team and their culture. If you have a skill gap, it needs to be filled.
You can't coast your way to high level leadership on strengths alone. Don't have a skill gap? You're lying to yourself. Just ask your team or your spouse for some feedback. I GUARANTEE they'll have some areas you can work on.
Caveat: you have to be a leader that doesn't punish people for honest feedback; otherwise you're just a tyrant with a socially acceptable title.
Remember, competence matters. Your team needs to know that you can operate effectively. Don't let your ego get in the way of greater levels of trust and effectiveness.
Action: ask a trusted team member,friend or spouse for feedback on an area that is negatively affecting your leadership? Want to get serious with it? Do an anonymous 360 degree evaluation of your leadership.
Crystallize your values.
Values have taken a real hit in recent decades. Postmodernity, moral relativism, and progressivism have ruptured our society’s value structure. Most leadership schools agree: you need guiding principles for your team and mission. But in my experience, few do this well.
Most people or organizations pick a few inspiring words, slap them on a wall, and never mention them again—rather than creating real boundary lines that define what is and is not acceptable. But without a clear heading, every ship veers off course when the seas get rough.
The same is true for our lives.
Do you know your non-negotiables? What hills are you willing to die on? What are your “hell no’s”? Can you define what constitutes a win or a loss daily?
Action: Write down 30 things you value. Then remove 10. Then another 10. Now 3 more. Then 2. Now one more. And… one more. Congratulations. You have just crystalized your top 3 values in life. These are the 3 things you value above all others.
If you do this honestly, it’ll force you to wrestle with what stays and what goes. You’ll probably find many of your values fit under broader categories. The follow-up is simple: identify the daily, weekly, quarterly, and annual actions that keep those values alive.
Live this way consistently, and you’ll be leading yourself with integrity. And that makes you a leader worth following.
In the end, Leadership isn’t just about where you're going — it’s about who you are. The leaders we admire most aren’t perfect, but they are anchored — in discipline, humility, and conviction. They take ownership of their habits, confront their weaknesses, and live aligned with their deepest values. That kind of self-leadership creates overflow — in your home, your work, your team, and your witness.
So before you chase the next big goal or vision, pause and ask: Am I someone worth following?
Because that's where real leadership begins.