What Keeps People Stuck in Life and Leadership? Part 1
“My give-a-shit meter was getting low…”
Feeling Stuck in Life or Leadership?
Ever felt stuck in life? or like you’re stuck in a rut with no clear way forward?
Anxious. Stressed. Maybe a bit discouraged. Don't like the way things are going but can’t put your finger on why. You keep running into the same issue over and over again and you’re starting to wonder what’s holding you back.
“This is not where I want to be.”
Ever felt like that? Maybe you feel like that right now.
You’re doing everything you know to do and it's not working. You aren't seeing the results you want despite the hard work. Maybe it’s personal; you're still single after trying to find the right partner for months, even years—or your romantic relationship doesn't have the joy, trust, unity, or intimacy you are hoping for. Maybe you're experiencing it in your career, business, ministry, or team. Progress has stalled and you’re not sure how to find that next level.
Signs You’re Hitting a Lid in Life
It doesn't have to be so dire… maybe life or leadership just feels a bit stale or stagnant. We’ve all been there. Shoot, I can hit that weekly if I'm not careful. Ever heard of hump day? Your motivation to keep functioning at your normal high level is waning. You’re starting to feel a bit apathetic. The fire you used to have is embers. You know you are capable of so much more, but you can’t bring yourself to read another book, watch another YouTube video, or listen to another podcast. This can look like high functioning burnout or emotional exhaustion–even if everything looks fine from the outside.
If you’re there right now, I just want to commend you for reading this far. That shows real grit and character. Know that there is nothing wrong with you. It is a normal part of life. I haven't met a leader who hasn't hit a lid. We just don't want to stay there for too long, or the negative consequences can compound rapidly.
Stuck vs. Surviving: When the Fire Goes Out
It's one thing to hit a lid as a high performer. It's another thing to get stuck in a dark valley. The first part of my life was digging out of a hole and then finally getting out of the proverbial red and into the black in life—and into leading and high performance. So, I’ve hit the “stuck spot” so many times in life that it's become one of the passions and drivers behind my life’s work. I have seen too many people surviving, not thriving—mired in dysfunction, self-sabotaging, living far below their potential. Why?
It used to drive me insane.
I've studied the teaching of Jesus, most world religions, philosophy, psychology, meditation, economics, physical fitness, martial arts, and been to countless hours of counseling and trauma-informed care myself—all trying to figure out why we humans stay stuck, why we live below our potential, and what keeps us surviving and not thriving. I’ve studied this area so much it is actually the basis for my first book coming out early 2026.
The original motto of Rising Leadership was, “Overcome what holds you back.” That’s exactly what we’re digging into here.
How Do You Break Through When You Feel Stuck?
There are a lot of names for it:
Stuck
Overwhelmed
Spinning your wheels
Hitting a lid
Mediocrity
Ineffective leadership
Underperforming
Stuck in a rut
Crapping the bed
Mental fatigue
Hitting a plateau
Call it what you want—but if there’s an area of your life or leadership where you’re not seeing the results you want, chances are one of two things is happening:
You're ignoring some hard truths…
Or you've got baggage you haven't addressed yet.
In my experience, what keeps us stuck almost always comes down to one of three bitter pills to swallow, or ten weights holding you down.
If you're ready to break through the lid on what’s possible in your life, we have to face those head-on. In part one of this blog, we’ll tackle the 3 bitter pills we all have to swallow if we want to get unstuck.
Bitter Pill #1: It’s Your Responsibility (More Than You Think)
Yep, yours.
I love this quote by psychoanalyst James Hollis:
“After a lifetime of blaming others, it is exceedingly difficult for us to finally acknowledge that the only person who has consistently been in all the scenes of that long-running soap opera we call our life is us, and, as a necessary corollary, that we bear some large responsibility for how the drama is turning out.”
There’s no question that others may have contributed to your circumstances. Life may have handed you some tough cards. But where you are right now—and where you go from here—is your responsibility. And that’s actually good news.
Because if it’s your responsibility, then you have power.
If you’re waiting for someone else to fix your life, you’ve already surrendered the authority to change it.
The truth is, no one is coming to save you. Jesus already died on the cross for your salvation. The rest is on you. God will sovereignly guide you, grace you, help you, encourage you, correct you, and even empower you—but He won’t do it for you. No good parent does.
Your hand is steering the ship of your life, and it holds the pen writing the story of your life. The buck stops with you. Your life is your responsibility. Taking ownership is the first step in true self-leadership and personal growth. Bitter Pills #2 and #3 are really just deeper layers of this same core principle.
Bitter Pill #2: The Thinking That Got You Here Won’t Get You There
Proverbs 23:7 says,
“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
In other words, your inner world shapes your outer life.
My first pastor put it like this:
“You and I are at the mercy of how we think things really are.”
Your mindset, your beliefs, your mental frameworks—these have been quietly driving every decision that led you to where you are today.
James Allen once wrote:
“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state.”
If you want different results, new thinking is required. That means challenging your assumptions, re-evaluating your mental scripts, and adopting a mindset that allows for growth and renewal.
You won’t get to new ground with old thoughts.
This is the beginning of a necessary mindset shift for anyone who wants to grow.
Bitter Pill #3: For Things to Change, You Have to Change
It’s tempting to hope someone else will change.
That they’ll finally see it your way.
That the economy will turn.
That interest rates and housing prices will come down.
That the government will become more benevolent and well-led.
That the competitive landscape will shift in your favor.
But you can’t control any of that. You might as well try to control the wind.
You can influence others, but you can’t change them. You can only change what you can change. One of the most important distinctions to understand in life is this: What you can change and what you can't.
One of the most powerful reflections to engage with regularly is learning to separate what’s within your control from what’s not. When you focus on what you can change, your sense of agency and influence grows. When you obsess over what you can’t, your energy drains and your effectiveness shrinks.
Growth starts when we take ownership of the only thing we ever truly have control over—ourselves. If you’re committed to overcoming mediocrity, it starts here.
As the old adage says,
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
If we want different outcomes, we have to change the patterns, choices, and behaviors that created the reality we’re living in now.
Swallowing Bitter Pills: The First Step to Getting Unstuck
Getting stuck is a very normal part of life—and unfortunately, you don't wave a magic wand to get unstuck. You have to do things differently than what got you there.
While no one wants to swallow bitter pills, have you ever noticed how rarely medicine tastes good? Almost never.
Swallowing the bitter pill is like disinfecting a wound. It stings at the time but cleans out the infection and produces healing.
These breakthrough moments don’t come without resistance, but they lay the foundation for real leadership development.
I’ll end with a scripture that has brought me much encouragement in times when I’ve been learning hard lessons. May its promise be an encouragement to you today:
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
—Hebrews 12:11
What’s Next?
In Part 2, we’re going to dig into what else keeps us stuck—and what to do about it.
Let us know if you got anything out of this. Comment or share it with someone it could help!
Have faith.
With love and respect,
Joshua